California’s Latest Perversion: Cannibal Restaurant, but Could it be a Hoax?

I hear the members taste like dumbass…

Now that fully one-third of the population of Los Angeles is officially below the poverty level… and let’s not forget that an outbreak of Bubonic Plague has already started to rear its ugly head, I say it’s time for the City of the Angels to stop the pretentions.

It’s time for LA to go full Medieval. Yes, it could be time to start eating dead people.

Sometimes described as a state with the economic savvy of Nicolás Maduro, coupled with the high moral standards of Harvey Weinstein, now is the time to add the gastronomic proclivity of the Sawney Bean Clan.

Supposedly, there’s an underground restaurant in LA that specializes in human flesh.

According to the “official?” website of Club Cannibal, as well as a forum discussion on City-Data.com certainly give an air of reality that Cannibal Club is the latest thing for LA’s beautiful people.

But an “air” of reality is just that.

However, the self-appointed watchdog of internet hoaxes, Snopes.com, just hit the daily double.

Not only has Snopes supposedly squashed the internet rumor that the likes of Chelsea Clinton, Meryl Streep, and Katy Perry have chowed-down on human flesh at Cannibal Club, but Snopes claims the entire existence of the Cannibal Club is just a massive hoax.

Unfortunately, Snopes has its own credibility problems, especially when it comes to them providing cover for the rich and famous.

With that aside, here’s a bit of what Cannibal Club supposedly claims is on the menu;

Penne Pasta with Meat Sauce
A delicious meat sauce made from fresh heirloom tomatoes, served over multigrain penne noodles.

Sirloin Steak
A flame-broiled 8oz sirloin steak seasoned with fresh garlic, sautéed onions, and our in-house Worcestershire sauce.

Liver and Mushroom Pirozhi
A Russian version of pierogies, baked rather than boiled, with a savory filling of wild mushrooms and liver.

Placenta Lasagna
An otherwise traditional lasagna with one layer of cheese substituted by minced placenta in heirloom tomato sauce, seasoned with garlic, onion and oregano.

Mrs. Lovett’s Meat Pies
A delectable pot pie in a genuine puff pastry crust with locally-grown vegetables and tender strips of meat.

As far as the fourth item on the menu is concerned, for those who may not know, “placenta” is the correct medical term for the afterbirth.

Another point to consider would be the legality of the actual consumption of human beings. Unfortunately, the Cornell University law school gives no set in stone answer (emphasis mine);

In the United States, there are no laws against cannibalism per se, but most, if not all, states have enacted laws that indirectly make it impossible to legally obtain and consume the body matter. Murder, for instance, is a likely criminal charge, regardless of any consent. Further, even if someone consents to being eaten and kills himself, the cannibal may still be liable for criminal or civil actions based on laws governing the abuse or desecration of a corpse, which vary from state to state.

One last thing to consider; even if Cannibal Club is a complete and total hoax, just keep in mind that Britain’s The Independent reported back in 2014;

Police arrested 11 people and closed a restaurant after two human heads wrapped in cellophane were discovered at a hotel restaurant that had been serving human flesh.

A tip-off led police to the macabre discovery in Anambra, Nigeria, with 11 people being arrested and AK-47 guns and other weapons being seized.

Human flesh was apparently being sold as an expensive treat at the restaurant, with authorities saying that roasted human head was even on the menu.

On a personal note, even IF the Cannibal Club is a fake, I’m of the opinion that the thought of underground human flesh restaurants here in the West simply aren’t beyond the realm of believability.