Somehow, the Republican Party will find a way to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in 2016.
Looking at their recent track record of ensuring rich old white out-of-touch multi-zillionairs are nominated by the Party, count on it.
And now the DNC’s propaganda arm (aka: the Alphabet Networks) have set in stone that one of the prerequisites for electability is elbow bendability.
Dear Republican Party, please know that I could give a damn less about having a new BFF in the White House, beer drinker or otherwise.
Keeping in mind this isn’t an all inclusive list, in no particular order (due to some of these overlapping others), here is exactly what I look for in a Chief Executive:
- Moral courage.
- A belief in God.
- The guts to make life and death decisions.
- The ability to say “I was wrong.”
- Recognizes and promotes American exceptionalism.
- A moral compass that isn’t dependent on popularity polls.
- A sense of personal accountability.
- Not born in Kenya.
- Has a résumé of accomplishing something other than what the former USSR deemed statue-worthy.
- Common sense.
- Carries him or herself with a sense of dignity.
- Actually adhere’s to the old fashioned notion that the President of the United States works for the people, not the other way around.
Rhymes with Rope and Chains…
Seriously, I really could care less about likeability, charm or how beaming the smile.
I don’t want a new bestest friend forever, someone who’ll send thrills up my extremities nor will assure me that the nation shall strive towards objectives with ambiguous and open-ended snappy catch phrases like “Hope and Change.”
As Coach Use to Say…
For any perceived accomplishment, real or imagined, the current resident of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue will spike the football and do an end-zone dance that would make the choreographers of Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo beam with pride.
And it doesn’t take much.
As recent history shows us, be it a Nobel Peace prize for not being George W. Bush, personally ensuring three generations of Americans are saddled with crushing debt for 10 years worth of spending, or just managing to make a baloney and cheese sandwich all by his lonesome, count on Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama Heinz Kerry Rodham Clinton (or whatever the hell his name is now) going into rhythmic convulsions while he pats himself on the back for… well, anything.
As coach use to say whenever any of us scored, instead of acting like a jackass in the end zone, “act like you’ve been there before.”
But I Digress…
Like a sizable number of Republicans, Libertarians and Independents, we’ve had enough of the likes of John Boehner and Mitch McConnell.
Feel free to mix and match whoever you like for the top and bottom of the ticket, but here are some of the solutions for America that the GOP will surely ignore in the next presidential election.
- Gov. Susana Martinez, New Mexico
- Gov. Bobby Jindal, Louisiana
- Sen. Ted Cruz, Texas
- Gov. Nikki Haley, South Carolina
- Rep. Allan West, Florida
- Attorney General Pam Bondi, Florida
Personally, here’s my choice…