‘Let’s Move!’ plan inspires V.A. to steal candy from babies

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They may not be The Grinch and this may not be Christmastide, and it’s also highly doubtful that many children in Southeastern Pennsylvania are having visions of broccoli or erasers dancing in their heads. But as reported by both the Washington Free Beacon and The Blaze news portal on Oct. 29, 2014, at least one federal office in the Philadelphia area has issued the offiziell verboten notification to all employees regarding candy and other sweets that might have been distributed to die Kinder this upcoming Halloween.

In an email sent to all hands at the Philadelphia Veteran’s Affairs Office on Wednesday, the higher ups made it clear that they were following the lead of First Lady Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! anti-obesity initiative at Friday’s annual Halloween Parade for employees children. Leaving little to the imagination, the email plainly stated, “Please help us teach our children to make healthy food choices!! If you would like to hand out treats during the parade, please give healthy snacks such as pretzels, raisins, granola bars and sliced apples.”

To hammer the point home, the author of the notification used the internet version of screaming at someone by typing “NO CANDY PLEASE!” Ever helpful, the V.A. bureaucrat also suggested that other than “healthy” snacks such as granola and raisins, “You may want to consider gifts such as pencils, crayons and rings instead of snacks.”

According to the Calorie King website, a singular Milky Way Fun Size Chocolate Bar weighs in at 0.6 of an ounce and has a mere 75 calories. Whereas the Nature Valley Oats ‘n Honey Crunchy Granola Bar weighs in at 0.7 ounces and packs 20 more calories at 95 total. The totals for the smallest sized box of Sun Maid Raisins is the 91 calorie 1.0 ounce mini box.

As stated on Michelle Obama’s taxpayer subsidized Let’s Move! website, “Everyone has a role to play in reducing childhood obesity, including parents, elected officials from all levels of government, schools, health care professionals, faith-based and community-based organizations, and private sector companies. Your involvement is key to ensuring a healthy future for our children.”

The V.A. has also been in the news as of late after a whistle blower revealed that the Department’s legendary bureaucracy unnecessarily shuffled sick veterans though a maze of officials and figuratively buried them under mountains of superfluous paperwork. According to the tipsters, thousands of vets have seen much needed medical treatment delayed, and even worse, dozens have died because of treatment either needlessly delayed or withheld.