More Poetic Weirdness from Beta O’Dork: ‘Wax my Ass, Scrub my Balls’

The Democrats obviously can’t differentiate between cutting edge and just plain weird.

Case in point would be The Song of the Cow, a poem penned by the aspiring presidential candidate in 1988, in which he called on no one in particular to “wax my ass, scrub my balls”.

As reported by Scott Morefield of The Daily Caller;

Beto O’Rourke’s recently unearthed membership in the hacking group “Cult of the Dead Cow” may not have included the “edgiest sorts of hacking activity,” but it did, apparently, include writing murder fantasies and exceptionally bad poetry.

Writing under the now-exposed pseudonym “Psychedelic Warlord,” a teen-aged O’Rourke appears to be the author of a poem titled “The Song of the Cow,” published in 1988 by “cDc (Cult of the Dead Cow) communications.”

“I need a butt-shine,” the poem begins … and it really all just goes downhill from there:

I need a butt-shine,

Right now

You are holy,

Oh, sacred Cow

I thirst for you,

Provide Milk.

Buff my balls,

Love the Cow,

Good fortune for those that do.

Love me, breathe my feet,

The Cow has risen.

Wax my ass,

Scrub my balls.

The Cow has risen,

Provide Milk.

Thanks to the wonders of the internet, O’Rourke’s magnum opus is still floating around cyber-space because of the wonderful folks over at Internet Archive Wayback Machine.