Naked, drunk and doing the nasty, couple loses duel with tree

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Crocked + copulating + unclothed = crashed

Obviously for Michael Tonkin and his apparent paramour with the cartoonish name of Daisy Laroque, life is a little Column A, a little Column B.

Column A:

  • They’ve freed themselves from whatever inhibitions they may have harbored regarding Western norms of clothing
  • The two are familiar with the happiness induced by certain adult beverages
  • This amazing couple are obviously well versed in les affaires du coeur

Column B:

  • The aforementioned couple did all of the above at once
  • In a moving car
  • Against a tree

 

Driving Miss Drunken…

But with all jokes aside, in the Battle of Tree vs White Trash, Daisy very well may have knocked herself out of contention in the Mother of the Year competition due to her three-month-old in the backseat during this entire episode.

As reported by Breitbart.com;

A Washington man is in custody after he allegedly had sex with a female passenger while drunk behind the wheel, plowing his car into a tree.

Washington State Patrol spokeswoman Brooke Bova told the News Tribune that highway patrol officers arrived at the scene shortly after 6 p.m. Wednesday on Mountain Highway near La Grande to find the couple fully naked with a three-month-old in the back seat.

Bova said the woman is in the hospital recovering from broken bones, but her child was unharmed.

Authorities arrested Michael G. Tonkin and charged him with felony driving under the influence (DUI), vehicular assault, and child endangerment, according to the Daily Mail.

Tonkin, who has a history of three DUI convictions, is being held in the Pierce County Jail.

Witnesses told state troopers who responded to the crash that both the woman and Tonkin exited the vehicle while naked.