NBC (Alleged) News Division Launches ‘Climate Confessions’ Website

Mea climate, mea climate, mea maxima climate…

Did NBC really just launch an interactive Climate Confessions website? Yes… yes they did.

To every single conservative with a snarky sense of humor, I proudly say, Thank you, NBC News. Sweet Jesus, this is manna from Heaven. The jokes will write themselves.

This supposedly serious site is suppose to afford the user the opportunity to confess our climate crime sins online. But wait, there’s more. Not only have these goomba’s give us the chance to hit the virtual reality sin box, NBC is actually stupid enough to post the self-confessed sins.

Is that really a baby harp seal in the that molten asphalt? I’ll never tell.

Will I confess my climate sins? Oh, hell yes.

With tongue firmly placed in cheek, if you should happen to see a particular transgression regarding a certain someone who can only become amorously aroused by the thought of a steam roller paving a stretch of road comprised of a curious mixture of searing asphalt and baby harp seals… that would be me.

But to whet your appetite, here are a few examples of some of the sadly believable snowflake-infused sorrowful admissions;

  • I use a lot of Q-tips, I can’t find a better alternative.
  • I drive my gas powered car to work every day by myself. My commute is less than 4 miles, and public transportation is available.
  • I go to Starbucks several times a week and I don’t bring a reusable cup.
  • I loathe public transport! But I drive a very small, efficient car!

On the flip side of the coin, here are some of the more witty (and honest) confessions;

  • I like my house to be 85 in he winter and 55 in the summer. Deal with it, hippies
  • I am eating bacon with breakfast this morning and I’ll have it again tomorrow
  • I would rather the whole planet burn than give up steak. Kick rocks hippies.
  • I run my AC 24/7. I’m not going to sweat to appease this climate religion