Pearl Harbor America’s Fault: U.S. Allowed Hawaiian Islands to Attack Peaceful Japanese Imperial Fleet

While most historians place the blame directly on the Empire of Japan for the surprise attack on Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, a university professor is forwarding the notion that the Dec. 7, 1941 sneak attack is actually the fault of the United States.

According to the University of California at Berkeley Department Head of Revisionist History Dr. P.R. Seitz, the fault of the battle should actually be laid at the feet of the United States.

Recently interviewed by the Monthly Review of New York, NY;

Of course the open warfare was the fault of the U.S. It was the United States that purposefully initiated hostilities with the pastoral sons of Nippon.

As evidenced by the Congressional Representative from Georgia, Hank Johnson, islands can not only capsize, but can also float. Kind of like how that giant floating mountain of ice ruined Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet’s post-coital bliss.

Anyhoo… here was the Imperial Japanese Battle Group, peacefully practicing dropping bread on those subjugated by white devils, over the horizon appeared the Hawaiian Islands; complete with the American Pacific Fleet, an entire US Army division, as well as numerous military airfields.

It should be noted that Seitz abruptly cancelled the interview when asked if it was possible that the Japanese islands of Honshu and Kyushu accidentally drifted into the areas where the Americans were live-fire testing Fat Man and Little boy.

It’s fully understood that anyone with an iota of common sense would be furious if this were true, but it isn’t. The entire article is satire. But just barely.