Place in My ‘I Hate Cats’ File: USDA to Stop Experimenting on Cats, Kittens

You know what the biggest problem is with kittens? The damn things grow up to become cats.

Suffice it to say, I don’t like cats. Let me count the ways.

  • I don’t like Garfield.
  • I don’t like Heathcliff.
  • I really don’t like Hello Kitty.
  • I especially don’t like that damn cat my wife convinced me to “adopt” about 10 years ago (expensive “special diet’, my ass).

Anyhow, with all that aside, allow me to say that I’m certainly against inhumane treatment of all God’s creatures, great and small.

But ya know… some animals are meant for human sustenance; some are meant to be beasts of burden; lastly, some are meant for experimental research. I honestly believe that with all my heart.

But much like how the nutty “animal rights” mob wring their hands over “dolphin-free tuna” (what the hell, how about all those dead tuna? No tears for them?), or Rhesus monkeys being used (due to their physiology being similar to humans) for experimental surgeries, there is a place for test animals when it comes to experimentation.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m totally in favor of animal rights. Just as soon as any given animal stands on its hind legs and intelligently explains to me the meaning of “rights”, I’ll certainly give that creature a sympathetic ear.

Nonetheless, the USDA (US Department of Agriculture) has announced that felines will no longer be used for medical experimentation. Never mind that the same puddy tats were used to save the lives of human beings.

As reported by CNBC; (Emphasis mine)

Facing mounting pressure, the U.S. Department of Agriculture said Tuesday it will cease the controversial practice of laboratory test research using cats.

The USDA has been using kittens and cats in taxpayer-funded research to study parasites that can cause death to humans from foodborne illness. NBC News reported March 19 that the USDA’s practice included feeding dog and cat meat obtained in “Asian meat markets” to cats.

Last month, bipartisan legislation was introduced in Congress to end the agency’s experiments on kittens.

In a statement Tuesday, USDA said the Agricultural Research Service’s “toxoplasmosis research has been redirected and the use of cats as part of any research protocol in any ARS laboratory has been discontinued and will not be reinstated.” The agency didn’t make mention of any dogs in its release.

Oh, really? Man’s Best Friend gets the shaft, but Satan’s favorite pets get congressional protection?

Along the same vein, years ago in an interview with Tom Snyder, Ted “Sweaty Teddy” Nugent was asked his opinion of animal experimentation;

“If killing a monkey will make a car safer for my kids to ride in, I will beat one to death with a ballpeen hammer right now.”

Or a kitten… whatever.

The only true depiction of cats ever.

One thought on “Place in My ‘I Hate Cats’ File: USDA to Stop Experimenting on Cats, Kittens

  1. I hate dogs. They’re loud, unpredictably vicious, and filthy. Hundreds of Americans have been KILLED by dogs, how many have CATS killed? ( That said, animal experimentation should be kept to a minimum and should not be a profit game.

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