Pot-Filled Balloon Falls Out of Felon’s Poop Chute While being Treated for Shooting Himself in the Doo-Dads

Cameron “Dead-Eye Dick” Wilson.

Life hasn’t been kind to Cameron Wilson of Cashmere, Washington. But then again, maybe life gave to the young Mr Wilson exactly what he deserved.

Giving a whole new meaning to the phrase “gun nut,” the 27-year-old multiple felon (13 convictions and counting) has found that fate has a wicked sense of humor.

As it turns out, Wilson isn’t suppose to be playing with firearms in the first place to his due to his past criminal behavior, the former ball bearing brigand took it upon himself to flaunt the law.

With an illegally obtained weapon firmy tucked into his front trouser pocket, little did Wilson realize that his life was about to go sideways in a big way, as reported by the Breitbart.com news portal.

Obviously, if John Law were to pop Wilson, his being in possession of a pistol would have been enough to see him arrested. No such luck. An arrest would have been merciful. Anyhow, strike 14.

Possibly absent the day they covered gun safety, of course, the weapon magically chambered a round and then clicked itself off safe. Miraculously, the weapon somehow managed to pull its own trigger.

While it was simply reported that Wilson “shot himself in the scrotum” and also that he sent “a bullet right into his testicles”, there is no indication of the caliber of the round or damage suffered to said scrotum and adjoining testicles.

But wait, there’s more.

This criminal genius told his girlfriend to drive him to the hospital, but not before unloading the offending pistol with a friend. Strike 15. He also managed to get his girlfriend and mysterious friend implicated in a felony crime.



But wait, there’s more.

Eventually rolling bloody into the ER, and with the police notified, as Wilson had medical attention paid to his damaged dingleberries, the cops turned their attention to his now discarded and rather sanguine trousers.

Upon closer inspection of Wilson’s jeans, a bag of methamphetamines was found. Strike 16.

But wait, there’s more.

Destiny had one more evil twist to throw this literal Sad Sack’s way. While the medical staff was throwing down on his testicular trauma, a balloon filled with marijuana just so happened to fall out of his anus. Strike 17.

As of yet, the amount and future disposition of the pot-laden balloon is still unknown.