Tag Archives: fatwa

toilet

Islamic Fatwa gives thumb’s up to toilet paper

All the modern conveniences of the 9th century in the 21st!
All the modern conveniences of the 9th century in the 21st!

Toilet paper, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Yes, we in the West have been use to the modern convenience of cheap, plentiful and sanitary butt-wipe for well over the past 150 years.

Sadly, there are billions of the more impoverished who’ve never enjoyed the pillowy softer side of personal hygiene after the evacuation of one’s bowels.

Oh, and the Turks. The Turks obviously have been on the stanky-fanger side of the debate until just recently.

That’s right, our erstwhile NATO allies have finally been given the go-ahead sign when it comes to going number two.

As reported by the Jerusalem Post,

Using toilet paper is allowed in Islam but water should be the primary source of cleansing, according to a Fatwa released by Turkey’s Directorate of Religious Affairs (the Diyanet), [the Turkish newspaper] Hurriyet reported on Thursday.

The idea that using toilet paper is prohibited stems from the idea that paper can be used for writing.

“If water cannot be found for cleansing, other cleaning materials can be used. Even though some sources deem paper to be unsuitable as a cleaning material, as it is an apparatus for writing, there is no problem in using toilet paper,” the fatwa declared.

In a separate statement, the religious authority said last month that “it was okay for substances produced for cleaning and containing alcohol to be used for cleaning purposes, while stressing that drinking alcohol was forbidden by the Islamic religion,” Hurriyet reported.

Turkey’s Directorate of Religious Affairs. (Twitter)
Turkey’s Directorate of Religious Affairs. (Twitter)

As far as the question of what exactly is the proper Islamic etiquette for making your bladder gladder and/or dealing with a bad case of the dirty squirties, MyReligionIsIslam.com gives the lowdown of the down and dirty.

Just a few of the do’s and don’ts of going dooty; (emphasis mine)

  • One should enter the toilet with one’s left foot and exit with one’s right foot.
  • One should recite the prayer “Alhamdu-lil-laa-hil-la-dhi adh-haba ‘a-nil a-dhaa wa ‘a-faa-ni” when exiting the toilet.
  • After cleaning one’s private parts, one should cover them immediately.
  • One should remove the feces on one’s anus with one’s finger and wash one’s hand. If there are still traces of filth, one should wash them with water.
  • When cleaning the private parts after answering the call of nature, men should wash them from the back to the front. Women should wash them from the front to the back. Thus, the genitals will not be smeared with filth, nor will it cause one to be sexually aroused by the stimulation of fingers.
  • One should dry one’s private parts with a cloth after washing them. If there is not a cloth available, it is permissible to use toilet paper because toilet paper is produced to be used after answering the call of nature. But using other kinds of paper for this purpose is not permissible.
  • One should sprinkle some water over one’s underpants after cleaning one’s private parts. By doing so, when one notices wetness on one’s underpants, one will not feel doubt as to whether it is urine or not.
  • After cleaning their private parts, men should do istibra. Women do not do it. Istibra means not to leave any drops of urine in the urethra. It is done by walking or coughing or lying on the left side.
  • If a man exits the toilet without doing istibra, drops of urine may come out and soil his underwear. Therefore, he should insert a cotton wick as big as a barley seed into his urinary hole, whereby he will prevent urine from oozing out.
  • One should not look at one’s private parts or spit into the toilet.
  • One should not urinate while standing unless there is strong necessity for doing so and should not let drops of urine splash onto one’s clothes. To that end, one should keep separate pajamas or tracksuit. It is mustahab to enter the toilet with separate pajamas and with the head covered.
  • One should wash one’s hands after using the toilet.
  • One must not urinate into any water, on a wall of a mosque, in a cemetery, or on a road.
  • Cleaning the private parts with stones and similar materials is an acceptable substitute for cleaning them with water.
Pakistan

Pakistan: Tribal elders sentence girl to be gang-raped for her brother’s crime

Pakistani village elders pass sentence. (Youtube)

Pakistan is a difficult country to figure out. Especially for those of the Western mindset of what is considered the very basics of right and wrong.

One recent example would be of a fuel truck that overturned on one of Pakistan’s more decrepid excuses for a highway. Continue reading Pakistan: Tribal elders sentence girl to be gang-raped for her brother’s crime

Newest Enemy of ISIS — Kitty Cats

ISIS hunting down their latest foe: Kittens. (Pinterest)
ISIS hunting down their latest foe: Kittens. (Pinterest)

There have been some wild and wacky fatwas (religious edicts) issued by various Islamic clerics throughout the years, but the latest may prove to be cat-astrophic. As reported by IraqiNews.com (of Manama, Bahrain) and Metro.com news (of London, United Kingdom), breeding cats is now strictly verboten within the Islamic Caliphate. Continue reading Newest Enemy of ISIS — Kitty Cats

Gay Muslims running towards the accepting embrace of ISIS

Protesting for peace... sort of.
Protesting for peace… sort of.

In spite of more than a few photos and videos making their way to the West depicting Islamic jihadis executing homosexuals by throwing them off 10 story buildings, reports are bubbling to the surface that European Muslim homosexuals are joining up with the ISIS terrorist network. As reported by The Daily Express of London, Great Britain on May 12, 2015, more than a few closeted gay European Muslims are already in the ISIS-controlled territory in Syria and Iraq in order to fulfill their Islamic duty of simultaneously driving out infidels and purifying their belief system.

Continue reading Gay Muslims running towards the accepting embrace of ISIS

Saudi Arabian Airlines nixes ‘mixed seating’ of men and women

Saudi journalist Nadin Al-Badir relayed horrific instances of abuse and murder at the hands of the Morality Police.
Saudi journalist Nadin Al-Badir relayed horrific instances of abuse and murder at the hands of the Morality Police.

While more than a few Western cultural trendsetters revel in painting a Catholic woman sporting a Mantilla-style chapel veil, or a Protestant wearing their proverbial Sunday best, or a Jew wearing a yarmulke as some sorts of Dark Ages throwbacks, the same vanguard of Western progressivism gives scant attention when overt discrimination and oppression of women emanates from an Islamic dominated government. Case in point: The Saudi Arabian Airlines, operating under the name Saudia, will bow to pressure from influential Islamic fundamentalists and will now officially forbid women from sitting next to men who aren’t either their husbands or mahrem (Arabic for “male guardian”).

Continue reading Saudi Arabian Airlines nixes ‘mixed seating’ of men and women

Latest fatwa authorizes peeping perversion, but only if you put a ring on it

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On the heels of an Egyptian Brotherhood supported fatwa reported by India Today Nov. 28, 2013 that ruled that Muslim women swimming in the ocean equates to adultery and deserve to be punished accordingly, the latest Salafist decree has just hit the streets of Cairo. As reported by the right-of-center news portal Front Page Magazine on Aug. 19, 2014, an Egyptian cleric has ruled that it’s allowable for faithful Muslim men to become the proverbial Peeping Tariq, just as long as the wafa’-challenged watcher intends to wed the object of his hidden voyeurism.

Hard-core cleric Usama al-Qawsi of the Salafist uber-puritanical branch of Islam handed down a fatwa (Islamic theological decree) ruling that a devout Muslim man can legitimately peek in on any given Muslim woman in her most intimate and private moments without her knowledge nor permission. Only two caveats were cited: The peeper must promise marry the woman whose privacy was violated, and that the offending ogler must be “pure” in his heart while sneaking a peek.

Arguably creepier than the “swimming is adultery” fatwa, the Muslim Brotherhood-friendly Imam al-Qawsi’s edict states in part, “If you were really honest and wanted to marry that woman, and you were able to hide and watch her in secret, see the things that she wouldn’t usually let you see before marrying her, then it is acceptable as long as your intentions are pure.”

Not done yet, al-Qawsi citing actual precedents within Islam:

Book 11, Number 2077: Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah:

The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. He (Jabir) said: I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her.

Since last summer’s ousting of the Barack Obama-allied Muslim Brotherhood government, the North African nation has moved away from Islamic extremism seemingly as fast as it can. The nation’s Minister of Religious Endowments Mohammad Mukhtar quickly rejected the ruling:

Would you allow this to happen to your daughter? If it was okay with you then it isn’t with the conservative, civilized Muslim and Christian societies — they disapprove of it.

Possibly one of the more bizarre in the long list of fatwas issued by the Egyptian branch of the Muslim Brotherhood was the 2013 “swimming is adultery” fatwa. Much like the European Romance languages, certain words are inherently masculine, some feminine. The Arabic word for “sea” is masculine, therefore, if and when sea water comes into contact with a married woman’s pelvic area, she literally and figuratively has just committed adultery.

According to the fatwa, the offending beach-goer is effectively an adulteress and should be punished accordingly. The standard Sharia Law punishment for adultery for a woman is either by slowly stoning her to death or by hanging. The new Egyptian government has actively and aggressively spoken against many, if not all, of the former government’s issuance of fatwas.

Obama silent on Malaysia to execute non-Muslims according to Shari’a Law

Obama and Malaysia politician Jamaluddin bin Mohammed Jarjis.

While on his whirlwind tour of the Far East, Barack Obama managed to find time to hammer the embattled owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, yet the Chief Executive has remained curiously silent when informed that his Malaysian hosts have every intention of implementing the harshest punishments found in Islamic Shari’a law on the nation’s rather sizable non-Muslim minority. As reported by both The Malaysia Chronicle and The Malay Mail Online, both on April 28, 2014, as well as USA Today on April 27, 2014, Obama referred to Clippers owner Donald Sterling as both “ignorant” as well as “incredibly offensive” while the billionaire Democrat was secretly recorded berating his 49-years-his-junior now ex-mistress, known to the world only as V. Stiviano, for her friendship with blacks as well as posting online photos of her with NBA legend Ervin “Magic” Johnson.

Continue reading Obama silent on Malaysia to execute non-Muslims according to Shari’a Law

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Saudi fatwa: No giving birth unless ‘male guardian’ is present

Arguably one of the most oppressive regimes on the planet, the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia’s (KSA) religious clerics council has ruled no woman may seek or receive medical attention from male medical or health professionals unless a “male guardian” is present, as reported by the English-language newspaper the Arab News (of Jeddah, KSA) on Feb.14, 2014.

Continue reading Saudi fatwa: No giving birth unless ‘male guardian’ is present

Monty Python Alum: Parodying Anything Islamic Will K-K-K-Kill You

Palin in the irreverent parody "The Life of Brian."
Palin in the irreverent parody “The Life of Brian.”

Michael Palin of the British comedy troupe Monty Python is warning that any parodying of Islam could be harmful to your health, as reported by The Daily Mail (of London, UK) on Dec. 29, 2013.

Noting a rise in sensitivities, the comedian stated:

Religion is more difficult to talk about. I don’t think we could do Life of Brian any more. A parody of Islam would be even harder.

Continue reading Monty Python Alum: Parodying Anything Islamic Will K-K-K-Kill You

Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam inducted into Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

Quietly inducted into RRHOF.
Quietly inducted into RRHOF.

Sissy McSuckerson inducted…

Salon.com once ran in a satirical article that the decidedly right-of-center Pope Benedict XVI once joked with the Chief Rabbis of Israel that ’70’s soft-pop balladeer Cat Stevens was in actuality the “Ayatollah of Wimp Rock.

Regardless if the German Shepherd appreciates the estrogen-infused soothing strains of the individual born Steven Demetre Georgiou, the man who became famous as Cat Stevens was just selected for induction into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, as reported by the Persian Gulf news portal Al Arabiya News on Dec. 17, 2013.

Continue reading Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam inducted into Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

Egyptian Fatwa: Women who swim in the ocean guilty of adultery

Bang your head. Complete with "prayer bump" from slamming their heads on the ground during prayer, Cairo police on patrol.
Bang your head. Complete with “prayer bump” from slamming their heads on the ground during prayer, Cairo police on patrol during Morsi’s reign.

“Standard Sharia Law punishment for adultery for a woman is slowly stoning her to death…”

India Today published on Nov. 28, 2013 that a listing has recently been compiled in Egypt of some of the more puritanical Islamic Fatwa’s issued during the presidency of now deposed leader Mohamed Morsi.

During Morsi’s brief stint as president, the Muslim Brotherhood and the equally violently straight laced Salafists issued blatantly anti-women fatwas on a regular basis.

Arguably leading the list was the Fatwa (Islamic religious ruling) issued that noted the Arab word for “sea” is masculine, therefore, if and when sea water comes into contact with a married woman’s pelvic area, she literally committed adultery.

Continue reading Egyptian Fatwa: Women who swim in the ocean guilty of adultery