Tag Archives: john kerry

Obama declares EgyptAir flight 804 attack a case of ‘workplace violence’

Obama-is-a-MUSLIM-200by Kieran A. Farr – 05.19.2016

As the air forces and navies of Greece and Egypt scour the thousands of square miles of the Mediterranean Sea where bits and pieces of EgyptAir Flight 804 have reportedly been seen, the governments of France and Egypt have already stated that Islamic jihadi terrorists are “the likely” perpetrators of the downed Paris to Cairo Airbus A320.

In the meantime on this side of the pond, the most prominent figure in American politics has weighed in on the latest man-caused disaster that’s claimed 66 lives.

In an impromptu question and answer session with the White House press corpse held at the historic South Wing briefing room, Barack Obama agreed that the aircraft more than likely was brought down by an act of violence, but certainly not an act of terror.

As the American Chief Executive stated, “Just like administration building at Fort Hood and the Government Center Facility in San Bernadino, Flight 804 is by definition, a workplace. Constantly on the move, but still a place of work.”

Furthermore, Obama touted his own street cred by stating, “As someone who spent many years as a community organizer, if there’s anyone who can immediately recognize a workplace is, it’s me. And I’m a Constitutional Law professor, so you know I’m telling the truth.”

My milkshake brings all the boys to the Harvard Yard... Damn right, it's better than yours.
My milkshake brings all the boys to the Harvard Yard… Damn right, it’s better than yours.

When queried on the violent 360 degree turn the aircraft made in mid-air, Obama speculated, “From what I hear, and I hear a whole buncha things, there was a French co-pilot who was trying to impress the Egyptian flight attendants of undetermined gender.  Maybe he was just burning doughnuts like I did growing up in Keny… I mean… Hawaii. But he did it at 37,000 feet instead of the McGwando’s parking lot in the south-side of Nairo… I mean… Honolulu.”

But unlike the mysterious disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370, Obama was certainly brimming with confidence that the truth behind the destruction of Flight 804 would soon be solved. “Once the African-American box is found, all lingering questions will be answered once and for all without even a smidgen of doubt.”

In a written statement later issued to the press it was revealed that by way of Executive Action, Obama had regulated that with it common knowledge that all African-American boxes are actually orange, said information containers would henceforth be known as “Donald Boxes.”

French Adm. Pepé Le Pew, answerable only to Count de Monie.
French Chief of Naval Operations Adm. Pepé Le Pew, answerable only to Count de Monie.

Furthermore, the press release went on to state that to ensure the United States contributes its fair share, Obama has ordered the flagship of the Sixth Fleet, the USS Alger Hiss (YG-1369) to assist in the nautical search for clues. In keeping with the Obama Doctrine, The Fighting Hissy was placed under the direct command and control of the French Navy.

The Hiss will be joining the FS Je Vais Rendre and the FS Puis Collaborer when they hoist anchor from their main naval base at Mers-el-Kébir. Tentatively titled Operation Reddition Singe, the task force is still awaiting approval from the United Nations General Assembly. Unfortunately for the men, women, and others of the mini-armada, the UN isn’t scheduled to convene until sometime in mid-June.

Freeland writers I. Patrick Frehley and Heywood Jablomie contributed to this article.

John Kerry, Iran’s FM in the running as co-winners of Nobel Peace Prize

15680654859_187ece28cb_bAs the old adage goes; if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. In light of the word leaking out that the Nobel Institute may be regretting their 2009 choice of Barack Obama, the same sing-song truism just may be echoing off the walls in Oslo. And if the whispers in the corridors of power ring true, the duo being mentioned as co-awardees very well have essentially guaranteed that the Islamic Republic of Iran will be a member of the Nuclear Bomb Club within at least the next 10 years. Continue reading John Kerry, Iran’s FM in the running as co-winners of Nobel Peace Prize

Obama’s flaccid foreign policy: America’s case of Electile Dysfuntion

muscem
One, two, three, four …

America just felt its national sperm count drop to almost Joni Ernst proportions. Our own Herman Munster of Diplomacy apologized to France via the follicly challenged King of Wuss-Rock James Taylor as he warbled through the almost half century old ode to everything John Wayne would have hated, “You’ve Got a Friend.” Sadly, what Kerry thought was erudite and urbane just came off as embarrassing and oafish.

Continue reading Obama’s flaccid foreign policy: America’s case of Electile Dysfuntion

Kerry’s and Clinton’s about face on attitude of combat troops

Operation Al Fajr
Gunnery Sgt. Ryan P. Shane, Company B, 1st Battalion 8th Marine Regiment, pulls a fatally wounded Marine to cover while under fire during Operation Al Fajr, Iraq. Seconds later Gunny Shane was also wounded by enemy sniper fire.

In the wake of the Taliban-Bergdahl swap, the current and former Secretaries of State have taken to the airwaves to vociferously argue in favor of the age old but unwritten covenant between the United States government and people towards those that serve our nation in the military.

In two separate reports by the Real Clear Politics news portal of June 8, 2014 and June 7, 2014, John Kerry and Hillary Clinton have beat the “leave no one behind” drum seemingly as hard as humanly possible.

Continue reading Kerry’s and Clinton’s about face on attitude of combat troops

Team Kerry angered over ‘promise’ to cooperate with Benghazi investigation

Upset that no invitation was initially sent…

Many critics of government officials have often compared holding a politician to a promise made is essentially the same as attempting to nail Jello to a tree. Despite complaints that many in the world of politics purposefully become vague and elusive when held to task for past vows made, Rep. Darrell Issa is holding Secretary of State John Kerry to his word to work with Congress, and Team Kerry is less than pleased with the California Republican, as reported by The Washington Examiner (no affiliation with Examiner.com) on May 3, 2014.

Continue reading Team Kerry angered over ‘promise’ to cooperate with Benghazi investigation

Kerry hammers fellow Jews, wishes for rewind on Israel comments

When Kerry was a Kohn …

Unlike Vice President Joe Biden, who many of his critics have labeled a human gaffe machine, at least John Kerry knows when he has said something controversial and insulting. And again, unlike his technical superior in the Constitutional chain of command, Kerry knows how to apologize, sort of. As reported by The Washington Times on April 29, 2014 and also by The Boston Globe on Oct. 13, 2012, what makes this latest episode of an Obama Administration foreign policy faux pas was that Kerry insulted Israel; a long time most favored subject as far as Democrats were concerned. While the American Secretary of State’s outburst could reasonably be deemed as anti-Semitic, to increase the strangeness factor, Kerry is arguably the foremost crypto-Semite on the planet.

Continue reading Kerry hammers fellow Jews, wishes for rewind on Israel comments

De Blasio Knifes New Yorkers in the Back, Forks Them Over

deblasio4Amid cries of “oh, Madonn’!” and “whadda cafone!” New York City’s brand spanking new mayor Bill de Blasio may have just had a honeymoon with Gotham voters shorter than any of Rock Hudson’s marriages, as reported by ABC News on Jan. 10, 2014.

Nonnas from Staten Island to the Bronx swooned whilst goombas steamed as the unrepentant fan of everything Marxist dug into what appeared to be a Pizza Margherita with no less than a knife and fork.

Continue reading De Blasio Knifes New Yorkers in the Back, Forks Them Over