The latest college fad – Sex with plants

Are you passionate for your posies? Ready to shag a shrub? Any chance you’re horny for horticulture?

Then the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor is the place for you.

You may also want to meet the University of Michigan’s Sarah Ensor, assistant professor of topics such as “Ecocriticism” and “Gender and Sexuality”.

For whatever bizarre reason, these particular classes come under the purview of the English Department, but I’ve quit trying to figure out the sanity of higher education in America ever since academia started granting Bachelor’s Degrees in Queer Studies.

Anyhow, as reported by Tom Ciccotta of Breitbart.com, Professor Ensor “published an academic journal article this month that argues that humans should establish erotic relationships with plants.”

But wait, it just gets weirder;

Ensor … begins by citing the “Ecosex Manifesto,” which was penned by UC Santa Cruz Professor Elizabeth Stephens. Breitbart News originally reported on Stephens and her “ecosex” movement in September. Then, Stephens was promoting her documentary in which she and others lick trees, roll around in mud, and engage in sexual acts with elements of nature.

Ensor begins her article by citing Stephens’ manifesto. “[Ecosexuals] make love with the earth… We shamelessly hug trees, massage the earth with our feet, and talk erotically to plants,” Stephens wrote.

And for the suckers parents picking-up the tab for their Soy-Boy or Hemale matriculating at the Land of the Big Blue, you can sleep well at night in the knowledge that Ensor is actually being paid to pen such “scholarly” papers with titles such as;

  • Relative Strangers: Contracting Kinship in the Queer Ecology Classroom
  • Queer Fallout: Samuel R. Delany and the Ecology of Cruising
  • Terminal Regions: Queer Ecocriticism at the End



Future Politician? Senator Kid Rock (R-Michigan)

Grammy award-winning musician Kid Rock, American Idol contestant and country musician Kellie Pickler, and musician Zack Brown entertain troops stationed at Kandahar, Afghanistan, Dec. 17, during the 2008 USO Holiday Tour. (Wikimedia-Commons)
Grammy award-winning musician Kid Rock, American Idol contestant and country musician Kellie Pickler, and musician Zack Brown entertain troops stationed at Kandahar, Afghanistan, Dec. 17, during the 2008 USO Holiday Tour. (Wikimedia-Commons)

Kid Rock as the next United States Senator from the Wolverine State? According to Michigan GOP press officer Sarah Anderson, the notion of a Senator Rock “would be awesome.” Continue reading “Future Politician? Senator Kid Rock (R-Michigan)”

Schizophrenic: The Jill Stein Daisy Oracle

Jill Stein visits her ancestral homeland. (Youtube)
Jill Stein visits her ancestral homeland. (Youtube)

He loves me, he loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not. Jill Stein’s thought process very well could be mistaken for the children’s game made popular centuries ago in France. Continue reading “Schizophrenic: The Jill Stein Daisy Oracle”

Uniformed soldier thrown out of daughter’s school; might ‘offend’ someone

uniformSadly ironic, the Fox News affiliate WJBK in Detroit, Mich. updated on Sept. 11, 2014 a developing incident involving a U.S. Army officer being turned away from his daughter’s new school due to him being attired in the uniform of his country. To add insult to injury, the multi-tours of duty in Afghanistan and Iraq soldier was informed the reason for his denial on campus was due to the possibility that the mere sight of a uniformed member of the Armed Forces “may offend” a student.

Continue reading “Uniformed soldier thrown out of daughter’s school; might ‘offend’ someone”