Putin-mania sweeps Middle East, Russia; ‘I Go Hard Like Vladimir Putin’

CQvJ5BNWsAAfPOGRussian smart bombs, wayward Russian cruise missiles, and ultimately Russian troops aren’t the only things sweeping the Middle East. As reported by Ivan Plis of the Daily Caller news portal on Oct. 12, 2015, the folk hero image of Russian President Vladimir Putin may be old hat back in Mother Russia, but the cult of Vladimir is sweeping across the Middle East faster than the invading Mohammedan armies of old.

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The return of the dreaded Mullet

End of Days Alert…d1d92239df5fc20e5fc36ede30c3b7d5

Unfortunately for the human race, we as a species sometimes resurrect certain things that were best left to remain moldering in the grave.

Namely, the word “groovy,” hippie-wannabes flashing the peace sign and anyone wearing anything tie-dyed. Sadly, the Mullet is one of those cultural mistakes that’s making a comeback.

As recently reported by such diverse news sources Australia’s The Brisbane Times,The Guardian (of London, UK) and the Los Angeles-bases entertainment news site Zap2it.com, the much-loathed Mullet is suddenly fashionable again not only among 50-something Night Ranger devotees, but also among young Hollywood royalty as well as a certain leader of Britain’s screamingly liberal Labour Party.

The heebie-jeebie inducing hairstyle reached its zenith during the 1980s when everyone from super heroes to convicts were putting the world on notice that while there may be buisness in the front, all concerned could rest assured there was certainly a party in the back.

A ‘Do by Any Other Name…

As the festivities and roofie-fueled attempted date rapes continue amongst Jersey Shore Guidos, Southern Peckerwoods and Aussie Bogans everywhere, normal people keep a sharp eye open for certain code words and aliases should the Mullet rear its semi-shorn head in their cities and towns:

  • Ape Drape
  • Bi – Level
  • Camero Cut
  • Canadian Passport
  • Coupe Longveuil
  • El Camino
  • Hockey Hair
  • Kentucky Waterfall
  • Missouri Comprimise
  • Mudflap
  • Neckwarmer
  • Ranchero
  • Shlong (short + long)
  • Achy Breaky Big Mistakey
  • Soccer Rocker
  • Squirrel Pelt
  • Tennessee Tophat
  • Yep-nope