(VIDEO) Play That Funky Music White Mayor: Minneapolis’ Frey Shows-Off his College Major, Contemporary Urban Dance Theory

Me so horny, me love you long time. Fifty dollah.

As seen in the video below, Minneapolis’ tousled-haired grad student turned mayor ostensibly got his groove back.

While Mayor Jacob Frey may have earned his Juris Doctor degree at the Villanova University School of Law in 2009, he actually started-off in the world of higher education in 2004 at Virginia’s prestigious College of William & Mary.

Majoring at Contemporary Urban Dance Theory at W&M’s Drama and Theater Department, Frey showed-off some of his college educated super-groovy moves while he danced for peace.

Hizzonor also made a point of highlighting his Minor degree, History of Twenty First Century Hipster Haute Couture.

Always the political fashion plate, Frey went full Pajama Boy when he transformed his signature skinny jeans into clamdigger skinny jeans. Eat your heart out, Laura Petrie.

It sure looks like Frey’s $127,000 college debt for his BA was money well spent.

Just to make sure you’re paying attention, this article is satire.

Gitmo Detainee Asks Release: Claims He Found Religion, “Mohammed Saved Me”

Weeeeeeeee!!
Weeeeeeeee!!

Initially snagged off the Afghan battlefield in 2004 ostensibly for being Usama bin Laden’s counter-intelligence chief and one of the main Taliban strategists against American and Coalition Forces, Mullah Achmed Ibn al-Goatshankar has since been known officially as Detainee #139.

But now the former jihaadi strongman just wants to be known as a “child of Allah” according to his lawyer Shlomo Shtosherstein of the Manhattan law firm of Shmekeleberg, Kurvetaub and Shtosherstein. As quoted by the Iranian News Service, Goatshankar’s lawyers are pressing for his release due to his jailhouse conversion … or “come to Mohammed” moment.

Continue reading “Gitmo Detainee Asks Release: Claims He Found Religion, “Mohammed Saved Me””

Creamed Possum with Sweet Potato Garnish… now that’s good eatin’

The Night Before Thanksgiving – Southern Style

By T. Kevin Whiteman, MSgt USMC (Retired)

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‘Twas the night ‘fore Thanksgiving, and all through the house;

I’ve knocked back a 12-pack, I’m half way to soused.

 

Like the damn fool I am, I took my wife’s dare,

Now her whole stinkin’ family’s invading my Lair;

 

Her sister’s a psycho who needs to take meds

To silence the voices that live in her head;

Her brother-in-law is a Southern-Fried slob,

Who never can quite handle keeping a job;

Their kids eat like animals, I wish they would go,

Their table manners are reminiscent of a Gallagher show.

  Continue reading “Creamed Possum with Sweet Potato Garnish… now that’s good eatin’”