This May Work In Romania, But it Won’t Work Anywhere Else

Comfortably seats the entire herd.

I know this is more than a few years old, but still bizarre enough to bring up again.

From the Sydney Morning Herald;

BUCHAREST: Jobless Romanians are to be given goats instead of welfare benefits as part of a scheme to make them contribute more to the economy.

Under the pilot project, welfare benefits are to be axed from September in the Independenta district, a collection of villages in south-eastern Romania, where unemployed families will instead each receive 10 goats.

They will be expected to sell milk and cheese to earn an income, and when they find work, they will have to return the goats to the council.

Now this just may work fine and dandy in Romania, but what might this program look like in other nations? Hmmmm….

Great Britain ~ In an effort to make him appear at least a little less nerdy, the Brits will try to clone the goats with Prince Charles.

Mexico ~ The fleet-of-foot goats will end up sneaking into America, thus ensuring that tax-paying, hard working American goats are out of work. The slow goats will end up as taco meat.

France ~ The French will figure out a reason for surrendering and eventually collaborating with the invading goats.

Your Run Of The Mill Dung-Heap Islamic Republic ~ What!!?? Free goats? HOT GOAT LOVE TONIGHT, BABY!!

Canada ~ Despite the burning Canadian impulse to grant them refugee status without even so much as a cursory background check, the goats will be turned back at the border. Unfortunantly, the goats only speaks Goat. English and French are mandatory. Les chèvres parle seulement la Chèvre. Les Anglais et les Français sont obligatoires.

Sweden ~ Forget about it. Goats can’t make crappy IKEA furniture.

Croatia ~ “Goat” looks too much like “Croat”. I mean the word, not the people. Well, on second thought…

United States of America ~ If Biden wins, the Americans will out-source the goats to;
a. Bangladesh, where the Bangladeshiacs (or whatever the hell they’re called) will promptly eat them.
b. India, where the Indians will promptly worship them.
c. North Korea, where the North Koreans will promptly execute them for being Yankee spies… then eat them… but definitely not worship them. Unless one of them looks a helluva lot like Kim Jong Un. (see Great Britain)