Tokyo Olympics and COVID: Japan Unveils ‘Anti-Sex’ Beds

Only if you can catch me…

Call it what you will, but those wild and whacky Olympic athletes are renown for being libidinous, salacious… even just plain old horny.

With that in mind and also realizing the the COVID bug is still on the loose in Tokyo, Olympic organizers in the Land of the Rising Sun have what they think just might be the proverbial one stone used to kill two birds.

Swiss beach volleyballer Anouk Verge-Depre.

The cardboard “anti-sex” bed. That’s right, a blanket, a pillow, a very thin futon, and a bed constructed entirely from cardboard is suppose to dissuade some of the most physically perfect people on the planet from having sex…. and therefore also pass on the COVID virus.

By design, knowing the bed is mere cardboard, those lusty athletes just may refrain from doing the horizontal bop whilst in the throes of passion.

As Dr. Evil use to say, “Riiiiiight.”

Nonetheless, the good folks over at the New York Post have the lowdown on the down and dirty;

Olympic officials — who already warned 2021 Games participants to avoid two-person push-ups because of the coronavirus — have set up 18,000 of the cardboard beds in the notoriously sex-crazed athletes’ village, according to Dezeen magazine.

“Beds to be installed in Tokyo Olympic Village will be made of cardboard, this is aimed at avoiding intimacy among athletes,” American distance runner Paul Chelimo tweeted.

Team Australia surfer Sally Fitzgibbons.

“Beds will be able to withstand the weight of a single person to avoid situations beyond sports,” Chelimo cracked. “I see no problem for distance runners, even 4 of us can do.”

Another Olympian, Irish gymnast Rhys McClenaghan, said in a video posted to his Twitter account that although the beds are made out cardboard, they’re perfectly sturdy.

In the video, McClenaghan jumps up and down on his bed to illustrate how the furniture doesn’t crumble under his weight.

Speaking as a non-athlete (Olympic or otherwise), hasn’t the Japanese Olympic Committee figured out that a couple of hormone-fueled youngsters can’t figure out that tossing a couple of futons in the floor equals a fairly bruise-free evening of faire l’amour?

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