I Can’t Take It Any Longer; Unleashing My Inner-Grammar Nazi

Grammatik über alles.

Seriously, I just can’t take it for another second. Dear fellow Americans, please learn how to spell your words correctly.

I make just as many grammatical mistakes and spelling errors as the next guy, but I’m talking about just the basics when it comes to the proper spelling of some pretty basic words.

I’m not sure if this is phenomenon a case of people who’re ill-bred, poorly educated, afraid to crack a book… possibly a combination of all three?

Please know I’m not beating-up on nine or 10-year-old kids or hammering honest typos. I’m talking to high school (and in many cases, college) graduates.

Just a few that I just shake my head at in descending order;

10. Reign and rain. The Who did a song about this. Townshend was quite clever with his song-smithing, making “reign” and “rain” interchangeable. If you use “rain” when you meant “reign,” then stop writing. Leave it to the professionals.

9. Or, o’er, ore and oar. There’s no such thing as “iron or,” but if you have an iron oar, you’ll be buff in no time.

8. Hair and hare. If you have hare on your head, you have more problems than I could ever help with.

7. Throne and thrown. I damn near choked when I once read, “There’s Nancy Pelosi, sitting on her thrown.” At least he used “There’s” correctly. 

6. Medal mettle and metal. A correct sentence using all three words, “I was awarded a medal made of metal when proved my mettle during the war.”

5. Meat, meet and mete. If you don’t know what “mete” means, then look it the hell up.

4. Wrap and rap. If you’ve never had your knuckles rapped, you’ve never met my Third Grade teacher, Sister Mary Linebacker.

Seriously, I never got a rapping I didn’t deserve.

3. You’re, your, yore. If you don’t know what “yore” means, refer to the solution for #5.

2. Their, they’re and there. With sincere apologies to Sr. Mary L., here are some fairly simplified definitions; “Their” is what two or more other people have. “They’re” is a shortening of “they are.” “There” is a location.

Then the numero uno error that drives me up a wall;

1. Calvary and cavalry. If you think that uttering and/or writing the phrase “The calvary is coming!” is correct, please rap your own knuckles, Sr. Mary is unavailable at this time. “Calvary” is where Jesus was crucified. “Cavalry” are soldiers on horseback. I learned that lesson the hard way (many thanks to Sr. Mary).

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