Ukraine vs. Russia: Miss Universe Throwdown

Glam shots… but are babushkas and turnip farming in their futures?

How awkward is that? Possibly not since the Miss Israel/Miss (Insert Name of Moslem Nation Here) run-in of… oh, forever… has there been this great of the likelihood of fisticuffs on the runway.

To be held this upcoming Jan. 14 in New Orleans, the Miss Universe competition will be held with a surprisingly low number of women representing their respective nations.

But first, a handful personal thoughts.

Per usual, Latin/South American and the Eastern European competitors are smokin’ hot.

Miss Ukraine, closest thing to a natural photo of Apanasenko I could find.

For whatever reason, more than a few Western nations apparently are broadcasting their virtue by purposefully(?) not choosing women of European lineage. But that’s just me.

Due to my personally favoring “the girl next door” look, in alphabetical order, I think these ladies will be the top ten;

  • Miss Armenia
  • Miss Croatia
  • Miss India
  • Miss Kazazhstan
  • Miss Kyrgyzstan
  • Miss Lebanon
  • Miss Malaysia
  • Miss Poland
  • Miss Russia
  • Miss Switzerland

Honorable mentions to Miss Angola, Miss Cambodia, Miss El Salvador, Miss Mauritius, Miss Germany.

But back to the topic at hand.

There seems to be a bit of a row brewing between Miss Ukraine Viktoria Apanasenko and Miss Russia Anna Linnikova.

As it turns out, both have released photos of what each will wear as their national costume at the competition.

With St. Michael the Archangel declared at the patron saint of Ukraine’s capital, Kiev, young Miss Apanasenko’s garb bears quite the resemblance to the traditional representation of the official Protector of Kiev.

Miss Russia, closest thing of a natural photo of  Linnikova I could find.

Complete with KISS platform dragon shoes, of course the snappy name of her getup is “The Warrior of Light.”

On a personal note, as physically beautiful as Viktoria Apanasenko obviously is, she just looks too much like a fashion model. I’ll bet that poor girl has never enjoyed the taste of a cheeseburger and a side of fries.

Again, just me, but the concentration camp look should never, ever be embraced as healthy and/or attractive.

Anyhow, then we come to Miss Russia Anna Linnikova.

To me, Linnikova at least doesn’t have sunken cheeks and stick arms. She does appear to have real breasts and I’m at least fairly sure she has some junk in the trunk.

Go ahead малышка, shake what your momma gave ya.

But then we come to the abomination of her national costume, “The Crown of the Russian Empire.”

Miss Ukraine Viktoria Apanasenko (left) and Miss Russia Anna Linnikova (right) in their national costumes.

I’ve seen Tijuana paintings of Elvis with less velvet. That rigging just looks too much like something out of the Carol Burnett Show.

In all fairness, I would think it would be kind of hard to bring to life in fabric the look of oppression and a shitty army.

Leave a Reply