Yes, the Olympic flag raised upside-down, signifying…
In all honesty, I can’t remember if I gave up on the Olympics when we entered the “Dream-Team” era, or when the IOC (International Olympic Committee) actually considered adding Ballroom Dancing as a sport.
Suffice it to say that I haven’t given two hoots in hell about the Olympics at least during this century.
But again, in all honesty, I did scratch the mental itch regarding what absurdities the OIC has deigned to declare as real sports this go ’round. Suffice it to say, I wasn’t disappointed on just how short bus and homo-adjacent the Olympics have become.
Before I actually call out the freaking ‘tards on the IOC proper, a few thoughts on who exactly qualifies as a nation;
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- Guam. Really? As someone who’s actually half-Guamanian, who in the hell allowed Guam to be allowed in as their own nation? Unless eating barbequed chicken and rice have been allowed as an Olympic sport, Guam has no business whatsoever being in the Olympics. Besides, you might be a Guamanian if your jeans are 30 length and 48 waist.
- Eswatini. I defy that 1-in-10,000 Americans even know what Eswatini is and where it can be found on a map. But I’ll give you a hint: The leather shield portrayed on their flag did a shitty job of neutralizing the Martini–Henry rifle chambered in the .303 round
Eswatini? Neveh ‘eard of her, guv’nuh. - Palestine. If a few square acres of bombed-out shit-stain of a region, populated by nothing but inbred mooslemz qualifies as a country, then let me introduce you to Kosovo.
- Kosovo. See example #3, just replace “Kosovo” with “Palestine”.
Now on to what passes for sports;
Artistic Gymnastics. You mean dancing? We all know black folks are going to take gold, silver, and bronze. Even if it means a possible B&E.
Artistic Swimming. You mean dancing? At least this gives white folks a decent shot at a gold, silver, or bronze. Except for France. Throw a bar of soap into the pool, you can count on the French now being allergic to water.
Basketball 3-on-3. Fair bet the medal trifecta will be Harlem, the South Bronx, and Brooklyn. Outside shot that Wesley Snipes, Woody Harrelson, and Thomas Crooks will team-up and make a serious run. (Too soon?)
Beach Volleyball. Normal men get to watch scantily-clad hot chicks. That’s where Beach Volleyball needs to stop.
Breaking. How does one differentiate between 9.0 and a 10.0 breakdancing performance? How well one spins on his head; the amount of cheap electro-plated gold jewelry; or by the liquid volume of Romanian cologne they’ve bathed in?
BMX Freestyle. Grow-up and buy a 10 speed, you smelly hippie rejects.
Canoe Slalom. Finally, drunken white trailer trash get their own sport.
Handball. No, not the handball featured in every prison movie ever… this handball is that sissy Euro-trash “sport” that combines 90 mind-numbing minutes of quasi-soccer with a lot of indecipherable Eastern European gibberish.
Rhythmic Gymnastics. You mean dancing? But, hey… even midget gymnasts need something to aspire to, right?
Skateboarding. Another white stoner “sport”. But I admire how they wear the slow-kid helmet with a certain amount of pride and dignity.
Sport Climbing. What to impress me? Do the “Sport Climbing” like the two old farts did in Midsommar. Now THAT would be worth the price of a ticket.
Surfing. Gidget Goes to Normandy. Ends-up losing Moondoggie to a more effeminate Pierre.
Trampoline. The Peter Pan-Syndrome has just been sanctioned by the IOC. There’s always a chance that some of these “athletes” might come too close to the edge and injure themselves. Then they’ll have to be taken out Midsommer style. One can only hope.
To their credit, the IOC has allowed rugby seven, shooting, and weightlifting. But I’m sure they’ll find a way to fuck those up, too.