I just can’t help but wonder how many liberal heads will explode when they catch wind of the Seekins Precision 1776 AR-Flintlock.
Of course, that would only apply if the AR-Flintlock was a real thing. I’ll be upfront and honest, it took me a while to realize that Jordan Michaels of Guns America Digest published this piece on April 1st.
Before I realized the true nature of the article, I had two initial impressions;
If this is real, I love it.
If this is satire, I love it.
With that aside, here’s just some of this truly awesome article (emphasis mine);
Ready for purchase, the AR-Melee Axe.
There’s nothing more American than the AR-15—nothing, that is, except the Seekins Precision 1776 AR-Flintlock.
A mashup of modern technology and the technology that sent the Red Coats packing 245 years ago, the rifle maker designed their new firearm to be the star at your next July 4th bar-be-que and range day.
“Like apple hotdog pie or cowboy baseball, the AR-Flintlock brings together two quintessentially American things in perfect harmony. If you don’t like this, you’re probably a Communist,” a Seekins spokesperson told GunsAmerica in an exclusive interview.
The AR-Flintlock ditches the AR-15’s semi-automatic reciprocating bolt for a good-ol-fashioned flintlock and flash pan that would be the envy of every colonial barracks. In never-before-seen promotional photos obtained by GunsAmerica, Seekins engineers appear to have kept all other features of the AR-15 intact.
“It’s too bad George Washington didn’t have this technology when he was kicking British ass up and down the east coast,” the Seekins spokesperson told us. “The war would have been over in a month. A semi-automatic flint lock? C’mon. King George would have crapped his pants.”
Another real thing, the AR-Chainsaw attachment.
Since it keeps the rail and handguard of the standard AR-15 design, the AR-Flintlock can be outfitted with optics, lasers, and lights that attach to a picatinny rail or M-Lok slots. But for those who want their rifle to be truly authentic, Seekins has developed a lantern holder that can be attached to the rifle’s handguard.
“When colonial troops were room-clearing at night, how do you think they could see? Tactical lanterns,” the Seekins spokesperson pointed out. “Most people don’t know this, but they actually affixed specially designed lanterns on the end of their rifles to make sure they were taking down British spies and not Mrs. Washington.”
