We created this monster… we can also bring this to an end.
Much like a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff who’s never won a battle, but still has a chest full of medals, I can’t help but get the impression that civilians at the DoD (Dept. of Defense) just love them some job titles that’re essentially a slew of important-sounding words slapped together, meaning a whole lotta nuttin’.
But the joke’s on them. While they feel superior to us lowly mouth-breathers in uniform, we ground-pounders are already in the know of the true scoop of these strutting peacocks.
But first, some of the back story; according to USAfacts.org, the total of active-duty and reserve/National Guard troops under the DoD to include the US Coast Guard (Dept. of Homeland Security) is 2,096,063.
The same site notes that the number of civilians employed by the DoD is a belt-busting 778,539 civilian employees.
So, for roughly every 2.5 troops, there’s one civilian on the taxpayer dole.
Literally by accident, I came upon a rather interesting federal government website.
As cited by one of the many official DoD websites (comments mine);
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- Jeffrey P. Angers – Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Manpower and Reserve Affairs [When there’s a Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Manpower and Reserve Affairs, you can bet there’s a bevy of additional deputies and/or assistants.]
- Dr. Cordell C. Francis, Jr. – Director of Business Integration Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Legislative Affairs [Business Integration… Legislative Affairs. What does any of this have to do with the armed forces?]
- Logan Harr – Principal Director for Integrated Sensing and Cyber in the Office of the Deputy Chief Technology Officer for Critical Technologies [What are the chances his wife’s name is Dee Harr?]
- Stephanie Koeshall – Principal Director for Homeland Defense Integration and Defense Support of Civil Authorities [Somewhere in the Marine Corps, there’s a very underpaid 1st Lt. who can do this job.]
- Dr. Robert Mantz – Principal Director for Renewable Energy Generation and Storage (REG&S) at the Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Research and Engineering (OUSD (R&E)) [Ahhh, Renewable Energy.]
- David McKeown – Acting Principal Deputy Chief Information Officer Department of Defense Senior Information Security Officer, and Deputy Chief Information Officer for Cybersecurity [A full 20 words in his title. Does that tell you something? I’ve seen rotting onions with less layers]
- Halimah Najieb-Locke – Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Industrial Base Resilience [Yeah, this is a made-up job.]
- Christopher J. Palmer – Principal Director for Human Machine Interfaces in the Critical Technologies Office, Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Research and Engineering [Human Machine interfaces? — I have no words.]
- Meggan Schoenberg – Principal Director for Integrated Network System of Systems in the Office of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Critical Technologies, Office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Research and Engineering [Does this give you an idea just how bad the bureaucracy really is?]
- Dr. Brandi C. Vann – Performing the Duties of the Assistant Secretary of Defense for Nuclear, Chemical, and Biological Defense Programs and is the Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Nuclear, Chemical, and Biological Defense Programs [I don’t care if she does have “Dr.” in front of her name. Never take serious a chick with a stripper’s name.]
- Rebecca Zimmerman – Performing the Duties of Assistant Secretary of Defense for Homeland Defense and Hemispheric Affairs/Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Homeland Defense and Hemispheric Affairs [“Hemispheric Affairs”? Which hemisphere; north, south, east, west? I guess I should be happy in the knowledge that there isn’t someone assigned to Solar Defense and Lunar Affairs.]