What do generals, admirals, the White House and half of the population of San Francisco all have in common? Aides.
Speaking as not only a retired enlisted Marine, but my dear old Dad was also an old-school US Navy Chief (“Pour more salt on it. You’ll be OK, son“).
One of his maxims that’ve stuck with me through the years has been that military aides are little better than professional ass-kissers.
Of the many legends surrounding the distinctive aiguillettes (ropes) worn by aides, the one that makes the most sense to me would be the tale that 16th century European generals who would tie a rope to their aide for the same reason they had a harness for their horse.
By now, pretty much the whole world is aware that the third servicemember killed in the helo-jet crash over DC was Capt. Rebecca M. Lobach (US Army), of Durham, North Carolina, as reported by the Army’s Public Relations branch.
This post isn’t to decry Capt. Lobach as being an example of Biden’s DEI hires (but that’s a possibility that wouldn’t shock me).
This post is me asking the rhetorical question: “Why are we pissing away millions of dollars’ worth of taxpayers money on members of our Officer Corps doing the job of a movie theater usher?”
While I’m at it, I’d kinda like to know why enlisted US Marine Corps infantrymen are assigned to the Executive Mansion as glorified door-stops?
But back to officers using their PME (Professional Military Education) to show people where to park their asses.
As cited on the US Army’s official website (emphasis mine);
The White House is seeking active-duty Army officers, in grades first lieutenant through major to serve as a White House military social aide.
The White House Social Aide program is a volunteer additional duty. Those interested must include an 0-6 level endorsement from their chain of command. Social aides are expected to work an average of five to six events a month during the duty day, evenings and occasional weekends.
- Five days out of 30 means a social aide isn’t doing real military stuff for 16.66 percent of their time.
- Six days out of 30 means a social aide isn’t doing real military stuff for 20.00 percent of their time.
I would think that the US Army’s rank requirements for White House Social Aides are pretty much across the board for all services.
Without getting really deep into the weeds, here’re the PME requirements for officers up to the rank of major;
- Naval ROTC (Marine Corps Option) – required for all 2d Lts prior to commissioning (except for those who attended one of the military academies)
- TBS (The Basic School) – required for all 2d Lts, regardless of MOS (Military Occupational Specialty).
- Primary MOS School – required for all 2d Lts.
- Marine Corps Expeditionary Warfare School – required for all Captains.
- Marine Corps Command and Staff College – required for all Majors.
- Marine Corps War College – required for all Lt. Cols., but open for Majors at least selected for Lt. Col.
“White House Social Aides”? I can’t help but feel that these officers are more interested in some seating chart instead of defeating World Communism.
Back to the enlisted side of the house, American Military News (not a governmental agency), they say of the Marines permanently assigned to White House duty as, “these elite Marines stand guard…”
Call me old-fashioned, but those who “stand guard” usually have some type of weapon, even if it’s just a sharp stick or a rock. The only thing issued to White House Marines is their uniform.
They aren’t “guarding” anything. Their only reason for existence is purely decorative.
When it comes to all this ceremonial bullshit, there’s already a uniformed entity within the Executive Branch who can easily assume all these useless duties. Specifically, the Uniformed Secret Service Uniformed Division, formerly known as the “White House Police Force.”
Better yet, how about the folks over at the White House just open the door themselves?
When it comes to state dinners, etc., just make the damn things cafeteria-style. That way, we won’t have Michelle Obama mistaking an admiral in the United States Navy for a wine steward any longer.